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Yet another picture...

August 17, 2007 11:10 AM

Drew a picture of something while at the restaurant yesterday. Not sure where some of these images come from but this one started as tracing the outline of the shadow left by my hand as I held down the sketchbook. What I ended up with was a simple sketch of what looks like a large teepee but not a standard one. It almost looks like the top of a stalk of corn on the outside. If you’ve seen a stalk of corn you’ll know what I’m talking about - the sides carefully fold over one another towards the tip. Anyway the teepee has a fire in the center and a sleeping bag next to it but it is sitting on what is either a craggy rock table or outcropping or the remains of a giant tree. There are stairs carved down the front to the ground. Behind it to the horizon is the ocean or a very large lake. A gibbous moon is large in the sky to the left. Out in the distance is an island with a single palm in the center.

Pretty weird. I’ve been thinking about posting it and some of my other sketches in my gallery but I’m not sure they’re good enough. I’ll probably make a call on that later today.

I need to strengthen that skill. I’ve love to be able to draw people and animals and...well...everything! But it’s yet another thing I’ve put on hold to get the house taken care of and handle my family’s future. :-/

It’s funny but I’m not really concerned where the images come from only that I keep seeing them in my mind. I like images of far away places and have always been a fan of Science Fiction/Fantasty art. Sometimes though even earthly images have the same effect on me.

For instance when I was much much younger my grandmother had a puzzle of a sunny harbor. Always when I finished that puzzle I was able to see the waves in my mind and see the boats rocking gently in the summer breeze.

I’ve always been that way though. I’ve always had a very strong imagination. Sometimes too strong. It’s only been the last few years that I’ve been able to use that to my advantage and delight.

And use it I have. It’s a wonderful strength when trying to find a creative solution to a big problem. Unfortunately my mind is not steady.

I am in great need of vast tracks of time to meditate and think and learn to calculate and learn logic and learn a great many things. Unfortunately I do not have that time available to me. Not in large amounts that is. :-(

The universe just scotched some time my wife and I were planning but in this case it’s understandable. (My sister-in-law was supposed to watch our daughter this weekend so we could get away.) Anyway my niece on my wife’s side just went to the hospital with a skull fracture. I know no more than my wife has already left work to take care of my sister-in-law’s kid and our daughter. I hope she’s okay.

It’s hard for me to get worried or emotional about those things when I’m not there. And sometimes even when I _am_ there. I sound like a cold bastard. Sorry for that. I don’t mean to sound that way it’s just the way I’ve been built up inside. I’ve had to shed so many tears and output so much anger or frustration that I don’t have all that much left. And what I have left doesn’t get released easily because I’ve had to teach myself to hold that all in over the years. :-(

I hate this society. I hate what it’s become and a lot of the ideals that have come to pass. We need to put up the appearance of strength but not BE strong. We need to not offend. We dare not show a hint of who we really are. Wear the mask or be cast out forever.

Does that sound like a sane society to you? *crickets chirping*




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