nimitzbrood (nimitzbrood) wrote,

Having good friends ROCKS!

September 28, 2007 11:02 AM

A good friend of mine spent a good portion of his own time basically ironing out my replacement mail server. Despite his load, which is pretty damn heavy at the moment, he still took the time to help me out and I can’t thank him enough for that.

Such people are truly underestimated and often go un-thanked in this society. I know that there are people out there helping other people and not getting any reward for it. From the counter person who tries extra hard to be polite to that rude person to the fireman or police officer or soldier saving people every day. Most of the time those people get by in life without any sort of gratitude or return on their investment in helping people. There’s something so wrong about that when the people who work the hardest to be better people are often treated the worst.

There is a solution though. Take the time to notice those people and thank them. It doesn’t take more than a few moments and will do those people a world of good. And in turn those people are more likely to thank the people they notice work a little harder at being good people. Also in turn by thanking those people you become one of those people - at that point you are working on being a better person too.

And there’s something else too - the more you do this the easier it will be to spot those type of people among the rest. And that means that if you need some help or need to get someone some help you will have a better chance of finding a person who will do a better job than the others.

Now I’m sure someone is going to bring up the person that seems to be working extra hard to help you out but really wants something in return. Well those people can be good or bad. I prefer to believe the former rather than the latter. Let me explain my thinking.

Suppose you are really really passionate about something - making money, making art, making a life, etc. If you are truly passionate about that you are not going to let anything stand in your way. And if you can get there by helping someone else so much the better.

Now the problem comes in where said person does the above while only thinking of their gain and not the consequences of their actions.

You can spot those people too if you try. They are the people that feel like a bad used car salesman. They feel...“oily” for lack of a better term. You _know_ they’re going to screw you by the reactions they produce in you. They do the _absolute minimum_ required to help you in order to get what they want.

Now despite all appearances I believe these people to be rare. The average person outnumbers them in the millions in my book. By their nature though they gravitate to things that put them in control and in charge and thus they become more visible to people in general. That’s why you think there are more of them than there are.

On the flip-side there’s the people that don’t seem to be passionate about anything. I usually find three real reasons for how they got into that position.

1) They’re still searching for that thing to be passionate about but haven’t found it yet.

2) They have been taught by their family and/or life that being passionate about something is dangerous and undesirable.

3) Life has them so bogged down and beaten that they can only think about survival.

The first in my book is just a matter of searching and having information and experiences available. The second is a crying shame and needs to be changed but requires changing the parents for the next generation now. The last one is the one that’s the worst because there are a ton of people on this planet that are stuck in that manner.

It’s a tough situation and sometimes tough to get out of. The sad part is that there are often a million different solutions out of the problem but people stuck in those situations can’t see them because they can’t even afford the time to look. They can’t raise their eyes but what they should be doing is frantically looking around for a way to incorporate something of their own passion in what they do.

Even if it’s only a few minutes a day doing something for yourself it _will_ help you cope with the rest of it. I often stop in the middle of a tough project to do something trivial. While some might see that as delaying I find that it actually allows me to finish the project more efficiently.

The other thing is one of the biggest crimes that our society has perpetrated upon us - we don’t tell people our problems. And believe it or not it’s both men and women that do this. There is entirely too _little_ communication going on in this world. And sometimes it doesn’t even need to be communication directly with someone. This web journal for instance is a good example of that - as are similar sites. Once people pour their hearts and feelings out onto those pages the problems don’t seem that large any more because they’re no longer looming in your mind but right there in front of you.

I’m telling you even if you never publish a word of it anywhere _everybody_ should have a journal of some sort. There may be things I’ll never write here but since I write a lot of other things it takes some of the pressure off of those hidden things. It may seem silly at first but in the end it’s pretty damn freeing...
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