nimitzbrood (nimitzbrood) wrote,

New thoughts...

December 6, 2007 11:15 AM

Well my wife and I haven’t found a house yet but we’re officially looking now. And that brings up some potential issues involving my daughter.

My daughter, like her father, does not handle change real well. At least not large changes anyway. So moving is going to be a little bit of an issue this time as she’s more aware of her surroundings than she was the last time we moved.

Fortunately we’re making sure that the house we buy remains in my daughter’s current school district. That limits our buying options by quite a bit but for my money it’s worth it as it will help her keep up the good progress she’s making in her current classroom environment.

And I did some thinking and I feel I’ve come up with some things that will help her adjust to the move a little better:

1) Take her house hunting with us. It’s going to be her home too so if there’s something she absolutely hates about it we need to find out _before_ we buy the house.

2) If possible I’m going to try and reconstruct the current layout of her bedroom in the new home. Anything I can’t replicate she’ll have to deal with but the less that changes the better.

3) Explain _everything_ to her as the process occurs. She’s at the point where she understands most of what we say even if she can’t give a good two-way conversation. The last thing I want to do is leave her in the dark about what’s going on.

Just those things alone should help her adjust to the situation. The biggest one to me in this case is having her along while house shopping. We’re going to be in this house for probably at least the next 5 - 10 years, more if we like it, and putting my daughter in a place she doesn’t like for a long time will cause her all sorts of problems.

Even parents of a non-special-needs child (0) often don’t consult their children when buying a home or moving. As far as they’re concerned the child’s opinion doesn’t matter. So what happens often enough is they get a house that in one way or another is unsuitable for their child/children and then they wonder why the kid suddenly has a hard time adjusting.

No surprise there really.

Think of it as suddenly having your job be forcibly changed from one that your know and are comfortable with to something that is completely beyond what you would even think about doing or even find acceptable. Would you do well? Then why would you expect your child to far any better under those circumstances?

Needless to say I’m going to try and avoid that if I can...

(0) Just a side note here... There is no polite way for me to refer to other children who do not have special needs. What am I going to call them? Normal? That implies that my child is _not_ normal. Why would I do that then? Average? Who wants to be called average? Sometimes the English language is so damn imprecise. I’m betting that more conflicts on this globe have come from misunderstood English than any other language. And worse yet the world is standardizing on that language...
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