Things go wrong in life. They just do. Bad things happen, bad people cause you problems, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Bad things happen while cooking too. Things get burnt, cooked too long, or cooked not enough.
When things aren’t cooked well enough that’s your fault. Period. Provided nothing interfered you made a choice, be it from whatever information you had, to cook whatever it was for only that length of time.
When things are overcooked it’s your fault too. Provided nothing interfered you made a choice, be it from whatever information you had, to cook whatever it was for only that length of time.
Now I’m not saying people can’t screw you. It’s plainly obvious that people can either interrupt you so you lose track of time and something gets burnt or give you the wrong cooking information or even turn your stove off on you.
But in the end _you_ are the one cooking.
I try not to blame anyone but myself for the things that happen in my life. Not fate, not The Goddess, not my neighbors, not my family. Blame can be assigned but it should no more be used for vengeance than you should smack the stove for burning the roast. It accomplishes nothing but denting something...usually you.
I can’t deny those things happened but neither do I need to dwell on them. Hell my whole family has been through the wringer multiple times over the years and we’re pretty beat up after all that.
Those events that beat us up all those years ago are gone now. They altered our past yes but in no way should they alter our future.
Life is hard. My mother taught me that. So did my father, and my sister, my grandmother, my uncle, my family, my friends, and above all those nasty people I’ve met in life.
But if I stop there and focus on all those events I will never see any beauty in front of me. Ever. No future.
Hate, anger, revenge, regret, sorrow, pain held fast to the heart - they all blind us to the future. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re holding onto them until it’s too late.
For a long time I was angry at my friend. At how he acted towards another friend - his wife. For years now I’ve held onto that until, just recently when she passed on.
What a colossal waste of energy that was. I didn’t realize how hard I was holding onto it until I went to her memorial yesterday.
Am I still angry with the way he acted? Yes. Will I still be angry if he acts like a twit in the future? Yes.
But now that I’ve let it go it no longer blinds me. I can see the future better, I can move forward faster, I can think clearer.
Without those things blinding me the future looks like a far far better place than it did a few days ago.
I’m not saying forget the past - that’s impossible. I’m saying that you need to take your eyes off it to look forward.
There. Is. No. Way. To. See. Forward. By. Looking. Back.
A mirror you say? Well that’s fine...if you want to see everything reversed.
So what do you do when the roast burns? You salvage what you can of it, de-glaze the pan, and start working on the next dish.
So what do you do when the roast is undercooked? Well cook it longer! Yes there’s a chance of overcooking it but at least you know what to do with it if that happens.
To put it in culinary terms we are living the biggest episode of Dinner: Impossible that ever existed. We can fail horribly or succeed gloriously by our own hand. If someone’s bothering you then kick them out of the kitchen or find someplace else to cook!
The universe is infinite. This world, for the practicality of one individual, is _also_ _infinite_. With resources that vast there _has_ to be a solution for a lot of the problems out there. And to find those we need to move forward.
To move forward one must trade their past for their future. There is no other way.
You can cherish your past certainly. You can even hold the memories dear. But don’t sit and stare at them too long or you’ll trip over your own feet.
And then who would cook your roast?