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I was smoking a pipe dozing on the back deck.

I finished my pipe and cleaned it. Then I sat back and rocked in the metal deck chair.

At some point I closed my eyes and suddenly I was on board a flight to China.

I had my iBook with me and was editing a video when the flight attendant asked me to stop because all the other passengers complained that they could hear me playing the same audio track over and over while editing despite my earbuds.

I told her I'd turn it down but she said that I should stop it before all the other passengers lynch me. I asked her indignantly what else I would do for the rest of the very long flight and suddenly all the passengers, or most of them anyway, threw books at me. Mostly paperbacks.

I stood up and made a short speech about how embarrassed I was to be a human being if this was the way they acted and how I'd never act that way to others. Then I closed my laptop and faced the window.

The next thing I know there are three people in the aisle with submachine guns, UZIs I think, threatening everybody. Before I understood what I was doing I had leapt from my seat and tackled the one nearest me and took his gun away. I shot the other two in the head immediately afterwards.

Then my arm hurt as well as my stomach. I slumped to the floor with the thought "Oh crap! I'm having a heart attack!".

When I woke it was in a hospital room with sunlight shining through the windows and a nurse in the room with me.

She starts to talk but I interrupt her and tell her that I know I'm in a hospital in Perth, Australia. How I know that is a mystery. It's almost like an auto-location on a GPS globe. She's startled but she tells me I'm correct. I start to ask her what year it is but in walks the doctor who prevents her from telling me. He questions me about my memory. The plane is the last thing I remember.

I'm too weak to stand so I'm there for several weeks. At some point my wife shows up, full head of long grey hair, for a tearful reunion of both of us.
It's then that the doctor tells me it's 2007 and I've been in that hospital since the plane.

He tells me that I said something as I was passing out. "This would be a grand death." He wants to know what that means. I joke with him that if I explain that he'll have someone down here for a psych exam immediately. Then I explain that it's a reference from the 1985 comic book The Dark Knight Returns and it's what Batman says while fighting Superman.

Then my wife starts to tell me what has happened in the last year+ and suddenly my head is spinning and everything in my mind is confused.

I find myself rocking at high speed in the deck chair again with my eyes tightly closed and a buzzing in my head. My wife send my daughter out to say goodnight to me and suddenly it's all gone leaving me feeling drained.

I honestly don't know what to make of it. It was more real that one of my regular dreams yet I know I never left the chair.

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