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When is a vacation not a vacation?

July 19, 2009 7:51 PM 7/19/09

When you spend the weekend supporting all the computers an technology that everybody brought with them on the trip. I’m not supporting everything but so far I’ve had to deal with wireless connectivity issues, misc hardware, and an errant wireless Wii sensor bar.

On other fronts there was a conflict between myself and my mother-in-law that mirrors a great number of events over the almost fifteen years of my marriage. I probably won’t post the details even f-locked but it’s just par for the course and I just lost it.


I’m not really relaxed but I refuse to be chased home without at least trying. And it isn’t fair to my wife for us to leave early nor is it a good thing in general.

I guess....I’lll just have to try to relax.

I’ve gotten nothing of what I wanted to do done and have had at least one day of stress symptoms while I’m here.

I never thought I’d have to try harder to relax.

I think part of the problem is the amount of noise and the closeness of the people in the house. It’s like being at a constantly loud convention or party without a way to get away. I can seclude myself in the bedroom downstairs then I get complaints from people about not being social. You’d think after almost 15 years of knowing that I’ve got problems with people and crowds and so forth they’d get a clue that I have to have time away but that does not appear to be the case.

And really that’s what I wanted out of this vacation was time and quiet and I don’t seem to be getting that. How is it fair that others are getting what they want out of this vacation and I can’t? It sucks. Maybe now that the wedding is over I’ll be able to get what I need out of these last few days until we leave on Thursday.

In other news my daughter is a little scratched up from the force of gravity and momentum while walking down the hill. She’s fine and like I have in the past will heal up quickly. (Mom - the equivalent of when I went down the hill with the skateboard at grandma’s.) Despite what people say might have happened I maintain that she _did_ _not_ hit her head. (No bruising, no abrasions, no lump, etc. I didn’t even see the accident and I was able to figure out she didn’t hit her head dammit.)

Anyway....I’m still uploading trip pictures to my private server and will chunk them all to a Flickr account at a later time. Most of them are boring as hell but there are some really good ones I got while we were driving around the lake. I’m also hoping to get some manual star shots of the night sky using my A570 even though I didn’t have a tripod. There are plenty of instructions on the web about how to set the manual settings for 10 - 12 second stellar exposures. And with the edge of the Milky Way actually visible out here I really really want a picture of that if I can get it. I just hope the A570 keeps the manual settings after I turn it off. It should but we’ll see if that’s true.

Well...back to trying to relax without my head pounding...


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( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 20th, 2009 02:38 am (UTC)
*hugs* I couldn't take crowds, either. (Heck it has to be a good day for me to be able to handle the grocery.)

Any chance you can maybe exclaim over the beauty of nature and go for a long walk with your camera for a little de-stress time without getting the 'oh, you're anti-social' remarks?
Jul. 20th, 2009 03:08 am (UTC)
I probably can but that kind of defeats the purpose of quietly trying to concentrate on doing basic math among other things.

Though it could possibly work for working on the other task I wanted to do out here which was practice my drawing.
Jul. 20th, 2009 03:17 am (UTC)
Under the circumstances, you're not going to be able to do all the things you had hoped, anyway. And without de-stress time, you're going to be far less efficient at everything- social stress just eats up your energy.
Jul. 20th, 2009 10:55 am (UTC)
Socially "normal" people really don't grok that people like you actually need to be left alone; they think you're consciously choosing to ignore them or shut them out, and that's an action they define as "rude" and "anti-social". They don't want to be rude to you in return, so they attempt to include you, coercively if necessary, in the group activities they need as strongly as you need solitude. It's very difficult to get past the human tendency to consider one's own behavior as The Only Right And Proper Way To Behave, and try to see it from another perspective. Maybe a metaphor might help... just because fish love to swim around in water, and will die if they're not surrounded by it, doesn't mean the same thing applies to birds...
Jul. 20th, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC)
I think the worst ones are the ones that think "Well if we just force him to be social he'll be much better off than he is now."


In the past I would have been a wandering barbarian or a scribe with his nose in a giant library. Sometimes it feels like this society has no place for people like me now...
Jul. 21st, 2009 09:57 am (UTC)
There are still plenty of social niches for people who are solitary by nature - almost everything to do with computers, for example. Or be a writer, researcher, or inventor, although those don't exactly promise steady employment.

Some contact with other human beings is unavoidable, especially if they're your relatives. And they do generally mean well. As I said, they find your need to be alone as incomprehensible as you find their need to flock together, and they feel a need to "cure" your "anti-social" reclusiveness, to make you just like themselves. All I can suggest is that you try to get people used to you being a loner - "oh, don't bother pestering Nimmy, that's just the way he is."
Jul. 23rd, 2009 12:04 am (UTC)
I admit, it has been an awful vacation for him and it's all my fault. I shouldn't have subjected him to all of this.
Jul. 23rd, 2009 04:26 am (UTC)
I think once again we are both victim of a comedy of errors. Or a tragedy of horrors I'm not sure which.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )



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