All that aside I decided to junk the vehicle for a number of reasons. The most important one comes down to this:
It represented the past for me.
See I owned that vehicle model before AND junked it before. And frankly there won't be a third time.
It's a clean break this time. While I may get another older car to fix up in the future it won't be another of this model.
And really this is a good thing because I need to move forward and this was yet another thing holding me back. It really turned out to be a load off our back when I got rid of it.
This whole thing brings me to the conclusion that while I definitely shouldn't forget the past but I really have to let it go. It's had such a hold on me. Bad experiences, bad memories, but most of all clinging like a drowning man to those tiny points of light.
I can't keep doing that. I _need_ to move forward.
And I realized something else during these events - I should be writing during the day when I'm home. I used to write at least an hour a day about _something_ and I haven't done that in quite a long time now. And it's not like it wouldn't dovetail with my cleaning and studies such as maybe writing during a lunch break like I used to at the restaurant.
Regardless I need to at least work on getting Oranaan out of his current predicament. ;-)
I also realized that I haven't written in a paper journal for quite some time. I used to keep paper journals for both myself and to my daughter for when she gets older. I've been remiss in updating those. Have to rectify that...
In other news I did manage to get to class yesterday and it turns out I didn't miss too much by missing the first class due to the car failure. And it's a small class with a good teacher - just like I like it.
I got a hit from the headhunter again. Her assistant is supposed to be calling me about a job that isn't too far away and is in my current area of expertise - sysadmin stuff. They also are going to give me access to their online training stuff so that's a plus. We'll see how good that stuff is.
I really want to move out of sysadmin/hell desk stuff but until I pass the CCNA and CCNA+Security exams that isn't a real possibility. I hopefully will pass those my mid December. Depends on how well I can get it all internalized in my mind. Especially subnetting.
The workshop is slowly taking shape. I managed to put a couple of boards and some plywood into a different spot in the rafters for lightweight stuff. I'm also planning on buying a sheet of foam insulation each pay period so that upper area can be closed off.
I'm still managing to grow stuff in the house. I've got cherry tomatoes, a weak heritage tomato plant, and a freshly started bush bean. All of which likely will need plant food soon which is no big deal. Have to heat-shrink the window in that area so they stay warm. Those are newer windows but I want them sealed regardless.
Still need to seal the living room windows, our bedroom windows, and the windows in the bathroom and third bedroom. I intend to have this house buttoned up before first snow. I'd love to vent the crawlspace properly but I can't afford to do that right now.
Off to check on the daughter and then maybe an early bedtime.