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I'm not sure how good they are but my wife's birthday today was sucky and for some reason that inspired me to write this:

Man My Birthday's Whack
(To the tune of Animaniacs)
---------------------------

Man my birthday's whack
I'm old and I'm too fat
My back it just cracks
While I wrinkle to max
Man my birthday's whack!

I'm older than my sister
And my younger brother, god!
I'm even years older than the neighbor's dog!
I have more than twice the lifespan of a green tree frog
Crows feet are ugly...
Skin so fugly...
I'm like a rotted log!

Man my birthday's whack
I've got health bills in a stack
I can pack away the snacks
While my cholesterol gets jacked
Man my birthday's whack!

Quick slimming fat pills
Are my latest curse
They only make me gain weight
And make my heart feel worse
Beer chasers really
Make my bladder burst
Toilet trips
No backflips
Why not just admit the worst!

My birthday is so whack
It makes me want to hack
So I think I'll just sit back
And eat cake to the max
Today I'm aging
While I'm grazing
There's no changing
The fact my birthday's whack!

Give my Twinkie back!


----------------------

I've got a few more that I'll probably post but I can't seem to find the lyrics for the one song I wrote that I really thought was good. :-(

On top of everything I seem to have developed a nasty cold since yesterday...

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