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Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

(Blame a friend of mine for this one...)

50 Ways to Lose Your Liver - Mike Hebel
ttto - 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon

The bottles are all behind the bar
He said to me
The glasses fill up easy if you
Make a drink or three
The liquor helps your inhibitions
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To lose your liver

He said it's really not my habit
To be rude
But I hope your drinking
Won't be gross or badly brewed
But I'll give my help
For drinks but not for food
There must be fifty ways
To lose your liver.

[CHORUS:]
The bottle in back, Jack
Throw out the flan, man
Don't need any poi, boy
Just listen to me
A bottle of wine, fine
Even stuff that tastes like pine
Just drink and you'll please, me
Your liver will flee

He said drink this please
It will ease your mental pain
This is the best that I can do
To make you right again
I took my hat off
The glass he gave me I drained
Could I sample the fifty ways

He said I'll start mixing
Right away for you my friend
You'll be dead of liqour
Poisoning at the end
And then he started up the
Blender and I started 'round the bend
There must be fifty ways
To lose your liver
Fifty ways to lose your liver

[CHORUS:]
The bottle in back, Jack
Throw out the flan, man
Don't need any poi, boy
Just listen to me
A bottle of wine, fine
Even stuff that tastes like pine
Just drink and you'll please, me
Your liver will flee

Cross-posted from Dreamwidth ( http://nimitzbrood.dreamwidth.org/245928.html ) but feel free to comment here as well.

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